If, try as you might, you can’t get a lady interested enough to wink on match.com instead of writing messages, and there’s a special woman you’re set on contacting, I’ve got a tip for you. Nothing I’ve found works better than “the one-line hook.” This is a one-sentence question that is relevant to something in the profile that interests you, that “hooks” your target into responding.

Remember, when you are making first contact, you have one goal, and that is to get a response, which will show that she is, in fact, also interested in you (while also helping build that interest), and ready to get a follow-up message, and eventually go on a date.

Some one-line hooks that have worked for me include: Continue reading ‘Online Dating Messages: The One-Line Hook’ »

So an update on my progress with the match.com guarantee. My theory that, during the course of 6 months, someone is bound to have at least one love interest that makes them skimp on their end of the guarantee, has held up (your end is keeping an active profile, having a photo on your profile, and contacting at least 5 members a month). I did date one woman with whom things went so well that, after seeing her for several weeks, we became “official” and I deactivated my profile, thus forfeiting my chance at getting another 6 months free. When things ended up not working out a week later, as you can imagine, I was frustrated with that decision – but hey, it wouldn’t have been right to have my profile active, right? Continue reading ‘Match.com Guarantee Granted’ »

I saw a smart comment on a thread on MetaFilter.com, regarding whether or not to date on Match.com.

…you will be busy with having coffee here, a glass of wine there, and trying out a new dessert bar at some other place. You’re meeting people, finding out more about them and yourself. Someone else in another part of your life meets you and thinks, “Hmmm. He seems pretty fun. He isn’t too intense or brooding at home on a Saturday night. He’s been to that funky new wine bar, the one I’ve wanted to check out….”

This is a great point. Personally, if I waited until I found someone worth dating in real life, I would probably go on a date a year. Once I was on that date, I wouldn’t know what I was doing. Even if you don’t meet your perfect mate from Match.com, it least it gets you out of the house, and gets you into practice so that you won’t be tongue-tied when you do finally meet “the one.”

While I’ve clearly come up with some good theories on online dating success, I still suffer from being very selective. Thus, with my latest Match.com subscription, I signed up for 6-months to get the “Make Love Happen” guarantee. It’s simple. If you don’t have a girlfriend by the end of 6-months, you get another 6-months free – which would actually probably feel pretty pathetic :P

There are some restrictions though:

• You have to keep a photo on your profile. Easy.
• You have to keep your profile visible. Also, easy.
• You have to write to at least 5 members a month. Also, simple.

My initial thought is that it’s pretty unlikely for a person to get through the whole thing without slipping up. Even if you don’t find a girlfriend by the end of 6 months, you’re bound to have one or two that you see for about 6-8 weeks, lose interest in Match.com, and thus wind up skipping a month and blowing the whole thing. Well, so far, I’m just starting out on month 4. I’ll keep you updated on my progress (or lack thereof, whichever is which).

It doesn’t matter how well you write your profile, if you don’t present yourself attractively with your profile photos, women won’t even get to the part of reading about you. Period. A good main profile photo will ensure that a match click’s through to see more when you do The “Who’s Viewed Me” Shuffle. But, whether you’re good-looking or not, the quality of the photo can make all of the difference. Poor lighting, “red-eye” or the wrong facial expression can all make even Adonis look more like Quasimodo. Your profile photo should be the best (recent) photo ever taken of you. Here’s some advice for getting the right main profile photo Continue reading ‘Match.com profile photo tips’ »

So, you’ve browsed dozens of profiles, reading every last detail, and you’ve finally got your heart set on this one woman whom you’re sure is the woman of your dreams. You spend hours trying to craft the wittiest message that you can, and lo and behold – she never writes back. Now you’ve spent all of this time – and you’ve lost all of your confidence.

Don’t get too upset. Just because she didn’t write back doesn’t mean that she wasn’t interested. Keep in mind that only paid Match.com subscribers can read and reply to messages. So she may have a profile up, but no paid subscription.

The way to avoid situations like this, and to be in a more favorable position when first contact does occur, is to get her to make first contact – hopefully in the form of a “wink.” You do this by: Continue reading ‘Don’t Write Messages on Match.com – Get Winks!’ »

The trick to having a successful first contact with a potential match is getting her to contact you first; and for her to decide to contact you, she has to see you first. So, what I like to do is make a point of clicking through to alot of (attractive) women’s profiles – even if I don’t read them, so that I show up in their “who’s viewed me.” I know from experience that women check this pretty often, and I’ve even talked to some who only use that feature to find matches – they never search.

So, by showing up in her “who’s viewed me,” you give your dream woman a chance to make first contact: preferably a “wink.” Soon, you’ll at least see her in your “who’s viewed me.” Unless you are really strongly attracted to her at this point, if she hasn’t initiated first contact by now, it’s best to move on, because: Continue reading ‘The Match.com “Who’s Viewed Me” Shuffle’ »

Judging the appearance of a potential online mate, soley from photos, can be nerve-racking. No matter how many photos a woman has on her profile, I always find myself with my nose about half-an-inch from the screen looking out for subtleties I may have missed at first glance: does she have a giant chin? stubby oompa-loompa arms? a lazy eye? Yeah, I’ve met a few surprises in my day, and yes, I think looks are important. If you’re going to be motivated enough to get to know this cutie, she better be – well – a cutie.

So, what have I learned to look out for in my many experiences of transitioning from 2D to 3? Continue reading ‘Watch out for “The Angles”: 5 online profile photo warning signs’ »

Personally, I don’t pay a great deal of attention to a screenname on an online profile, but according to one study choosing the right screenname is important. Turns out that names like “fun2bewith” or “imsweet” tended to rank highly. But watch out, guys – don’t get too cute. Women were weary of names that were too flirtatious, while names that suggested a guy was well-cultured did alright.

What’s my recommendation? One of the most important goals of your online profile is to provide little conversation nuggets for when you finally do meet your dream woman. Sure, one of the other goals is to get her interested, but these things go hand in hand. So, I recommend going with something very personal or specific, and have a story ready for that inevitable question of what it means.

For example, let’s say you choose the screenname ”tratdigiorno,” because there was a romantic trattoria that you used to walk by when you were 12 years old, and when you looked at it, you thought to yourself “some day I’d like to take a gal there.” Boom – you have a screenname that is mysterious, original, personal, and with a great story to go along with it – and ultimately memorable. Pick your own, real story and screenname, though :) Some other things that may inspire your winning screenname may be literary or movie characters, food, influential people in your life, etc.. Whatever it is, the important traits are that it is specific/personal, and that it has a good story to go along with it, and that it’s all real.

Link via: The Dating Weblog

There are few prospects more daunting than summing yourself up in a few hundred words on an online dating profile. Look around at enough women’s profiles, and you’re sure to see something to the effect of “it’s so hard to write about myself” time and time again. Some won’t even bother trying and will settle for a couple short sentences. Many who do write a profile end up with one rife with clichés A beautiful woman can certainly get away with this, and writing about yourself is difficult, but unfortunately guys, you can’t take the same route.

This is one of the reasons you shouldn’t write the “About me” section of your Match.com profile about you. You should write it about your dream woman – in the second person. Continue reading ‘Writing the “About Me” Section of Your Match.com Profile’ »

There are two important tips to follow before you begin your Match.com profile, or any online dating profile. Or hell, before you date at all:

1. Get your shit together. You’ve heard it a million times, “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else,” and it’s true. To say something more appropriate along a similar vein “you have to know who you are before you can write about it.” If you can’t figure out who you are, you probably aren’t ready to date. Be honest with yourself about this one.
2. Find your archetype. Now that you know who you are, you need a simple archetype to live by to guide your decision-making. Are you the artist, the jock, the shy guy, the adventurer, the secure provider, the joker, the intellectual, etc.. Women will have an easier time digesting just who you are if you keep it simple. We’re accurately portraying the interesting you, but there will be plenty of time for your dream woman to get to know all of the nuances of your personality. When we do create our profile, all we’re trying to do is get the woman to initiate first contact, and in order to do that she has to “get” you. She won’t “get” you if your profile goes in a dozen different directions.

If you need help figuring this out, browse the profiles of the women you’re interested in. What are they like, and what are they looking for? Wait, no. Do this before you write your profile, whether you feel like you need to or not. You’ll see why you need it when you write your “about me.”