Follow-up Online Dating Message Advice
So, you’ve mined the conversation nuggets from your target’s profile, you’ve sent short, funny, and brilliant one-line hook, and boom, you’ve gotten a response. Now what? This is a very critical point in the online dating process, but this is the final step before meeting in person. This is “the kill,” if you will: the second message with an online dating prospect.
A high-value woman has an incredible volume of messages to manage. The fact you’ve gotten a response speaks to your online dating acumen. But because this woman has such volume to manage, you can’t waste time. You need to meet her as soon as possible. Additionally, you want to ensure that she is who you think she is without investing more time. So, you should have two goals for this online dating message: maintain interest, and secure a date.
First of all, to maintain interest:
- Build the conversation upon the conversation nuggets you used in your opening message – and those you can find in her response message.
- Stay playful and funny.
- Focus on her. Talk as much about interests that concern her as you can.
- Keep it short: you still have to communicate all of the logistics of a first date in this short message.
Now, for securing the date:
- Make it convenient for her. Maybe you’ve already learned what neighborhood she lives or works in, or her favorite bar or restaurant. Pick a place that is easy and comfortable for her to get to and be at.
- Propose a specific day and time. I recommend NOT picking a Friday or Saturday night. That’s valuable social real-estate, and if you don’t have it booked already – a beautiful woman does.
- Propose 1-2 alternate days/times, to smooth out the logistics of making this date happen. The last thing you want is back-and-forth messages: does this work for you? how about this? no? maybe this? Be a man – be decisive and lead.
As for activity – I think drinks are fine. You get a chance to talk, no distractions. In some cases some common interest (that still allows for first-date conversation) has been mentioned in the opening messages, and is just begging to be the focus of your first date. If this is the case, take advantage.
More specific advice on possible message scenarios can be seen in my post How to Get a Date Online.