Online Dating Messages: The One-Line Hook
If, try as you might, you can’t get a lady interested enough to wink on match.com instead of writing messages, and there’s a special woman you’re set on contacting, I’ve got a tip for you. Nothing I’ve found works better than “the one-line hook.” This is a one-sentence question that is relevant to something in the profile that interests you, that “hooks” your target into responding.
Remember, when you are making first contact, you have one goal, and that is to get a response, which will show that she is, in fact, also interested in you (while also helping build that interest), and ready to get a follow-up message, and eventually go on a date.
Some one-line hooks that have worked for me include:
- To a self-proclaimed Thai food lover: “Hey there, I’m new in town, and I haven’t been able to find a good Thai restaurant, what do you recommend?”
- To a girl who said under “Education” that she had a Master’s Certificate in Project Management: “You can get a Master’s in Project Management? Interesting, I didn’t know that.”
The main criteria are that it concern a subject that is of interest to them, as expressed in their profile, and that it poses a compelling question that they will hardly be able to resist answering. Now, don’t get controversial, or attack anything about them with this question. Find something in their profile that genuinely interests you, that you would like to know more about, and ask about it. If you can’t find such a thing, you should probably move on, as the attraction is probably strictly based upon looks, and is a dead end.
Does it absolutley have to be a one-line message? No, but this compelling question should be the main focus of the message. If you have an interesting story to introduce this question, even better!
The reasons this is a great tactic are:
- It gets them talking about everyone’s favorite subject: themselves (this is where you are building their interest in you)
- It’s focused around a topic that you already know interests them, since they’ve talked about it in their profile
- It conserves energy. Don’t get me wrong, this is almost always more effective than a longer message, but you don’t want to expend too much energy writing a message to any one woman because 1) only paid members can even respond to you and you have no way of knowing if they are even a paying member, and 2) you’ll be spending time that you could be spending writing messages to other potential interests on writing to someone who, for a variety of potential reasons, may not respond.
There are three typical potential outcomes from this message you write:
- They don’t respond. Expect this to happen alot, and don’t assume that it’s just because they aren’t interested. If this happens don’t send a message like this.
- They respond with a very direct, very short, message. They probably aren’t particularly interested. It’s worth digging deeper with another question, especially if it comes along with a related personal story; but make that your last shot.
- They respond, and start a conversation based upon contents from your profile. Score! They’re interested, so send your follow-up message. Then, get a date! This is the common, and intended, outcome of this tactic.
If you want to get really technical, you can learn about specific keywords that will get you responses in opening messages.
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