What to say in a first online dating message

OkCupid has conducted an interesting study regarding response rates based upon specific key words used in opening online dating messages.

pretty-chart
Pretty fascinating, huh?

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To summarize:

  • Netspeak, such as “ur” and “luv” are a definite FAIL. However, expressing amusement by saying stuff like “haha” or “lol” increases response rates. I guess everyone really does love to laugh.
  • Mentioning specific interests (i.e. conversation nuggets) such as “vegetarian” and “band” increases response rates. Getting even more personal, by saying stuff like “you mention” helps even more.
  • Being self-effacing, by saying stuff like “sorry,” “apologize,” and “awkward” increases response rates; though I wonder if this skews to OkCupid’s demographic, which shies away from the traditional gender role of guys taking charge.

Go ahead and give this post a read. Experiment with this advice, making sure to use plenty of conversation nuggets in one-line-hooks, and report back, ASAP.

Also, in another OkCupid blog post, you’ll find that shorter messages are better, consistent with my One-Line Hook method.

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